Palms are sweaty. Knees weak. Arms are heavy. Vomit on my sweater. Mom’s spaghetti.
Okay, scratch that, I’ll leave that to Eminem. On the real though, the nervousness of going after what you want. The fear; the unknown; the chaos. The calm; the peace; the freedom.
It is absolutely terrifying to give up a full time, secure job, benefits & all that jazz, to really go for what you want. Questions running through your head. Will I fail? Will I be able to do this? Am I good enough? Will God actually do what He said He would? How do I make money pursuing my dream? How am I going to pay my mortgage? My gas; my bills; my food?
You know what, fuck the fear. It’s there but it’s not going to stop me. I got my clarity from God. Faith sounds absolutely bonkers sometimes. You are putting your faith in something you can’t see, can’t formulate in front of your eyes. It’s the reliance on His word that you have to go by. There’s plenty of stories and testimonies describing this exact thing, pushing through the fear and sharing that God did show up, that He did what He said He would. You are like, will that happen for me though?
It will. Whatever His plans are, He will make it happen. All you have to do is knock on the door, and if it’s meant to be, it will open.
Here’s to whatever happens happens. Taking a risk on myself & trusting God. Here’s to being my own boss ass bitch. Here’s to doing what makes me happy, fear and all.
Find more of my thoughts here.